Lent... and the Revelations of a Search Warrant...

i returned to work this week and hit the ground running... and i am speaking literally. As in running towards a house, breaking down the door, and putting everyone inside to the ground at gunpoint. Did that twice this week. Had to ignore the dream that i had the night before where my gun didn't work. Hate those dreams...

Both warrants were a success. Found lots of drugs. More than i had seen in one place in a long time. Had an interesting thought however, on both warrants... here i am completely destroying these people's houses, i mean pulling shelves out and just dumping the contents on the bed, flipping mattresses, removing everything from closets... by the time we are done the house looks like a tornado literally went through it. It will take weeks to clean what we messed up. i am sitting there starting to feel bad when it hits me, "the guy whose house i'm destroying has enough crack cocaine to qualify as the legal trafficing limit... 18x!! Screw him! He is helping destroy people's lives... it is nothing for me to walk on his laundry. This is what i have sworn to do."

You can watch all of this stuff on sit-coms and movies... but until you sit through a debrief, load up in an unmarked van, everybody jumping out at the same time, running up on the house, everyone screaming "Police!" ramming the door guns pointed everywhere... thats when you truly experience it. And you never think about it until its over...

Last week there were shootings at a grocery store and a fast food joint. My father gave me a hard time for being so adamant about bringing my gun to my cousin's wedding in Miami, Fl. He later told me that he was glad i had it after we walking through some shady parts of town. i once heard it described as the "sheepdog complex." Good citizens are the sheep, evil people are the wolves who prey on the sheep. The Police are the sheepdogs. The sheep don't want the sheepdogs in thier midst. The sheep always keep the sheepdogs on the outside of the circle. but as soon as the wolf shows up, all the sheep start running behind the sheepdog.

i choose this. So don't think by any means that i'm complaining or seeking some type of pity. i guess the nature of the life encourages loneliness... which is one of the reasons i so value the friendships that i have outside of the law enforcement life... they keep me sane... (and i use the word "sane" very very loosly... heh heh heh) i love what i do... and all i want is to make sure that my mum sleeps peacefully at night. That and the naive "make a difference in someone's life" thing.

Lent continues... and my Grandmother passes...

On 031506 at approximately 0515 hours Emilia Catarina passed from this life into the next. Two of her four daughters were present with her, holding each of her hands. Grandma's funeral was held on St. Patrick's Day...

My Grandmother used to always sing, and always pray... and so at her funeral i sang prayers over her... The Lord's Prayer... and Ave Maria.

Emilia had such intense spirit about her. It is seen in every memory of every person who crossed her path. She was the Mother of our family... bearing six children, who bore fourteen grandchildren, who are now bearing great-grandchildren... (i believe the count is seven so far...)

Grandma... i don't know if there are any horse race tracks in Heaven... but if there are, i have no doubt that you have already found yourself a front row seat and have begun taking bets!

Here's to you Grandma!

Lent, and my grandmother, continue on...

You would think that a 93 year old woman with cancer ravaging through her body would be crying out, "Dear Lord, take me home!" And if it were any other woman other than an Italian one, you would be correct. Italian women are different however... very, very different.

A month ago my grandmother, Amelia, was knocking at death's door. Granted she was knocking with the back of her heels, but she was still knocking. The whole family came in, from everywhere. I hadn't seen the entire family get together like this in decades. And while everyone is trying to say goodbye to grandma, she just casually demands she doesn't like the doctor and wants someone to take her home. Have i mentioned that Italian women are also the most stubborn women in the world? Yes, this 93 year old with cancer of the liver, spine and ribs refused to be satisfied until she was back home with grandpa and away from the doctor. So she got her way... and kept on living. So the whole family went back to their homes at various spots across the country.

Then a week ago the continuous care RN tells us that grandma is about to die, that she is knocking on death's door. And if it had been any other woman other than an Italian, the RN would have been right. But this woman was Italian, and they knock on death's door with the back of their heels. So, once again, the whole family flew in from all over to say their goodbyes to this dear woman... who stubbornly decided that she wanted an new RN. So she got a new RN. And the whole family flew back home.

Now don't get me wrong... i'm not counting down the days to dear ol' mum's death... i just don't want to see her in pain any more. i mean, this woman is in a lot of pain from the cancer, and just plain old age. Yet this woman is so stubborn that she refuses to let go... and that gives me an odd sense of pride. We can learn a lot about who we are and where we have come from by peering into the depths of our family history, by staring at the character of our parents and grandparents. i, obviously, never knew my grandmother when she was my age, but i get the feeling that she was quite the mischevious little lady. You know, for almost seven decades everyone, including grandma, thought that she was one year younger than grandpa? We found a copy of her birth certificate a few years back. Turns out she's two years older than him. She lied to him about her age when they first met. This crazy Italian woman kept up the lie so long that she eventually forgot about it and believed it herself!

I still remember the last conversation that i had with Grandma, leaning over her as she lay in the bed at the hospice. We were the only two in the room at the time. Figured i would take this opportunity to say my last goodbye to such a strong matriarchal figure in our family. So many people never get to say "I love you," to those that are close to them before they die. I wasn't going to miss that opportunity. Apparently my grandmother, like any good Italian grandmother lying on her deathbed, wasn't going to miss the opportunity either...

"I love you, Grandma."
"Are you married yet?!"
"What? Um... no, not yet."
"Well are you getting married soon?!"
"Um... no, not that i'm aware of..."
"Why not?"
"Um..."
"Where's your girlfriend?"
"Um, well, Grandma, i don't actually have a girlfriend right now..."
"No girlfriend?! Sigh... you need to get married."
"Okay, Grandma, i promise i will. I really want to, just trying to find the right lady. I love you, Grandma."
"Anthony..."
"Yes, Grandma?"
"Sneak me out of this hospital, take me home."
"I'll see what i can do, Grandma. I love you."

Glad she had her priorities straight; gotta love her!

Lent and the taco girl

It is only one week into Lent and i have already decided that alcohol was a BAD thing to give up! Sigh. It is going to be a looong forty days.

On a completely different note... i came to the realization that i am a very boring individual. Seriously. I was working an extra job the other night at the hockey game (which the Oilers "surprisingly" lost... again...) and as the crowd was mingling out after the game this woman came up to me and handed me this coupon for a free taco at Taco Bueno. She said it was from the tall skinny blonde girl. I immediately became offended thinking, "so you think i'm too skinny to be a cop and need to eat more, huh?! punk!" and threw the coupon on a seat. (please, don't comment... i know, i know.)

So i went back to the seat and looked on the other side of the coupon and discovered a note. "You are so adorable. 555-####, 'name'." Now because the planets were aligned in a specific cosmic pattern for the first time in 5 millinia i did something completely unlike me and actually called this mystery girl while i was on my way home... and because a series of asteroids that haven't been seen in 10 millinia flew past Pluto i did something even more unlike me and agreed to meet her and her friend at a local bar.

I know this bar. i know it very well. This particular bar happens to be in my beat. This would be the same bar where i got into the fight with the six angry drunk Canadians. That was an experience. Needless to say, i know almost all of the employees. The place is always crowded, and this particular night more so because there was a band playing. I have never been to this place off-duty.

I got to the joint first and attempted to play it cool. I hung out with the girl collecting the cover at the door. Known her for a long time so didn't have to worry about the cover. Go to the bar and attempt to buy a beer so i can "blend in". This one girl by the bar is talking to me a lot and making jokes. i'm not terribly sure is she was flirting or intoxicated, or both, but regardless she was nice. She asked me what i was drinking and it suddenly occurred to be that nobody serves Lienenkugals in this crazy state. So i stuck with a Bud. Which earned me another laugh from the crazy drunk girl. Who then turned around, bought me the beer, handed it to me smiling and said, "bet you don't get too many girls buying you the drink." I thanked the aligned planets for the low light and responded, "i don't go out much," which earned me yet another laugh and a, "I can tell, have a good night on me."

I went and hid behind my really hot friend taking cover charges at the door. Which didn't accomplish a whole lot because she just made fun of me too. When the girl who gave me her number showed up i got another drink with her and had a brief conversation. Nice girl. Pretty. TU student. ...and then i was drug out on to the dance floor. The planets were no longer aligned in my favor. But it was cool... i maintained confidence and plunged through. That is all confidence is really, plunging on regardless of fear, unfamiliarity, or discomfort. The dancing went very well actually. And it did feel good to be dancing with a pretty woman. It has been a while. Afterwards we parted ways and i said i'd call her. Maybe i will... but i don't think i'm her type.

Going out to bars, bar dancing, etc... just not my idea of a good time. Staying at home, cooking a meal, and watching a movie... good time. PAC... good time. Philbrook Museum, RedBud Valley, Riverwalk... good time. Which i have come to discover tends to place me in a "boring date" catagory. My buddy Larry at work says that i am too cultured for my age. Mainly because every time he pulls up next to me at work i'm listening to Beethovan and smoking a pipe or a Monte Cristo. That and because i really like Chilean and Italian wines. (fyi - Casellero del Diablo, Chilean, mmmmm... it is going to be a loooong Lent) Who knows... maybe i am a little too boring for my peers. I do enjoy a deep intellectual discussion. Unfortunately the only willing subject i have for such debates are my cats... and that's only because i feed them afterwards.

Its all good though. i enjoy my life... my pipe, my wine, my Beethovan collection... which is nothing rivaled to my U2 collection. (i still maintain that they are officially better and have done more for the music world than the Beatles) My mother says i need to go to church more... who knows, maybe i'll get a phone number on the back of an offering envelope...

protecting the innocent...

there are evil evil men in this world.

let me clarify...

there are sick, disgusting, evil, evil, men in this world.

...and there is one less one the world needs to worry about.

the southside serial rapist has been apprehended. G.L.G. Jr.

i spent the night running search warrants on the residence... can't mention anything due to the legal aspect... but i must say, i felt like i needed a shower afterwards. scripture says woe to the man who attacks the little ones, it will be as if a millstone is hung about his neck and he is cast into the sea. this man preyed upon the little ones. the little ones that Christ said, suffer not to come unto Me. woe upon him who preys upon the little ones...

On other notes... my grandmother is not expected to live through the week. It has been difficult on everyone, but she will be better off leaving this world and entering Heaven. I would like to see her no longer in pain. Ah, the miracle of death.

I'm being transferred to an armed robbery task force. Going to miss going to work in jeans... oh well, should be fun.

Got a phone number from two different girls last week. One was a news crew girl that I ran into down at municipal court, and the other was at a cast party from a theatre show I was recently in. I haven't called either one. Went to dinner tonight with a friend of mine that I've known for a while. She is beautiful, but I can't bring myself to be in a relationship with her. I just have this nagging feeling that it wouldn't work out. Could just be my ongoing apprehension about committment. On other notes I am still keeping in contact with that really pretty girl from Santiago. Might have to fly back down there again. Maybe see Neruda's casa again... If anyone knows of any beautiful women that want an Italian guy, please let me know...

Until then, just know that there is one less evil person preying on the innocent.