Lent, and my grandmother, continue on...
You would think that a 93 year old woman with cancer ravaging through her body would be crying out, "Dear Lord, take me home!" And if it were any other woman other than an Italian one, you would be correct. Italian women are different however... very, very different.
A month ago my grandmother, Amelia, was knocking at death's door. Granted she was knocking with the back of her heels, but she was still knocking. The whole family came in, from everywhere. I hadn't seen the entire family get together like this in decades. And while everyone is trying to say goodbye to grandma, she just casually demands she doesn't like the doctor and wants someone to take her home. Have i mentioned that Italian women are also the most stubborn women in the world? Yes, this 93 year old with cancer of the liver, spine and ribs refused to be satisfied until she was back home with grandpa and away from the doctor. So she got her way... and kept on living. So the whole family went back to their homes at various spots across the country.
Then a week ago the continuous care RN tells us that grandma is about to die, that she is knocking on death's door. And if it had been any other woman other than an Italian, the RN would have been right. But this woman was Italian, and they knock on death's door with the back of their heels. So, once again, the whole family flew in from all over to say their goodbyes to this dear woman... who stubbornly decided that she wanted an new RN. So she got a new RN. And the whole family flew back home.
Now don't get me wrong... i'm not counting down the days to dear ol' mum's death... i just don't want to see her in pain any more. i mean, this woman is in a lot of pain from the cancer, and just plain old age. Yet this woman is so stubborn that she refuses to let go... and that gives me an odd sense of pride. We can learn a lot about who we are and where we have come from by peering into the depths of our family history, by staring at the character of our parents and grandparents. i, obviously, never knew my grandmother when she was my age, but i get the feeling that she was quite the mischevious little lady. You know, for almost seven decades everyone, including grandma, thought that she was one year younger than grandpa? We found a copy of her birth certificate a few years back. Turns out she's two years older than him. She lied to him about her age when they first met. This crazy Italian woman kept up the lie so long that she eventually forgot about it and believed it herself!
I still remember the last conversation that i had with Grandma, leaning over her as she lay in the bed at the hospice. We were the only two in the room at the time. Figured i would take this opportunity to say my last goodbye to such a strong matriarchal figure in our family. So many people never get to say "I love you," to those that are close to them before they die. I wasn't going to miss that opportunity. Apparently my grandmother, like any good Italian grandmother lying on her deathbed, wasn't going to miss the opportunity either...
"I love you, Grandma."
"Are you married yet?!"
"What? Um... no, not yet."
"Well are you getting married soon?!"
"Um... no, not that i'm aware of..."
"Why not?"
"Um..."
"Where's your girlfriend?"
"Um, well, Grandma, i don't actually have a girlfriend right now..."
"No girlfriend?! Sigh... you need to get married."
"Okay, Grandma, i promise i will. I really want to, just trying to find the right lady. I love you, Grandma."
"Anthony..."
"Yes, Grandma?"
"Sneak me out of this hospital, take me home."
"I'll see what i can do, Grandma. I love you."
Glad she had her priorities straight; gotta love her!
A month ago my grandmother, Amelia, was knocking at death's door. Granted she was knocking with the back of her heels, but she was still knocking. The whole family came in, from everywhere. I hadn't seen the entire family get together like this in decades. And while everyone is trying to say goodbye to grandma, she just casually demands she doesn't like the doctor and wants someone to take her home. Have i mentioned that Italian women are also the most stubborn women in the world? Yes, this 93 year old with cancer of the liver, spine and ribs refused to be satisfied until she was back home with grandpa and away from the doctor. So she got her way... and kept on living. So the whole family went back to their homes at various spots across the country.
Then a week ago the continuous care RN tells us that grandma is about to die, that she is knocking on death's door. And if it had been any other woman other than an Italian, the RN would have been right. But this woman was Italian, and they knock on death's door with the back of their heels. So, once again, the whole family flew in from all over to say their goodbyes to this dear woman... who stubbornly decided that she wanted an new RN. So she got a new RN. And the whole family flew back home.
Now don't get me wrong... i'm not counting down the days to dear ol' mum's death... i just don't want to see her in pain any more. i mean, this woman is in a lot of pain from the cancer, and just plain old age. Yet this woman is so stubborn that she refuses to let go... and that gives me an odd sense of pride. We can learn a lot about who we are and where we have come from by peering into the depths of our family history, by staring at the character of our parents and grandparents. i, obviously, never knew my grandmother when she was my age, but i get the feeling that she was quite the mischevious little lady. You know, for almost seven decades everyone, including grandma, thought that she was one year younger than grandpa? We found a copy of her birth certificate a few years back. Turns out she's two years older than him. She lied to him about her age when they first met. This crazy Italian woman kept up the lie so long that she eventually forgot about it and believed it herself!
I still remember the last conversation that i had with Grandma, leaning over her as she lay in the bed at the hospice. We were the only two in the room at the time. Figured i would take this opportunity to say my last goodbye to such a strong matriarchal figure in our family. So many people never get to say "I love you," to those that are close to them before they die. I wasn't going to miss that opportunity. Apparently my grandmother, like any good Italian grandmother lying on her deathbed, wasn't going to miss the opportunity either...
"I love you, Grandma."
"Are you married yet?!"
"What? Um... no, not yet."
"Well are you getting married soon?!"
"Um... no, not that i'm aware of..."
"Why not?"
"Um..."
"Where's your girlfriend?"
"Um, well, Grandma, i don't actually have a girlfriend right now..."
"No girlfriend?! Sigh... you need to get married."
"Okay, Grandma, i promise i will. I really want to, just trying to find the right lady. I love you, Grandma."
"Anthony..."
"Yes, Grandma?"
"Sneak me out of this hospital, take me home."
"I'll see what i can do, Grandma. I love you."
Glad she had her priorities straight; gotta love her!
posted by Ida125 at 9:39 PM
3 Comments:
Quiote - tell your lady that i am honored to have a foreign reader... she doesn't have any hot foreign friends does she? (throw in a good word! i can quote Neruda! esp. since visiting his house; heh heh heh)
Dude, she asked you to sneak her out of the hospital?
AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What an awesome lady!
And glad to see you post on the goat herd. You caused quite a stir, dude. ;)
you need to come for mexican food...
Stop being good son-grandson,child of god & just be who you are.... P's M&D
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