25 - (and the fight with the one armed man)

So my 25th birthday has come and gone... i am suddenly feeling older than i should. i figured out why today while i was having blood sucked out of my arm. seriously. i was at the red cross for my bi-weekly visit (apherisis, not whole blood; you can donate every 3 days - used for cancer patients, etc... suck the platelets from your bloodstream, put the blood back in). i was lying there on the bed with a hollowed out pencil in my arm chatting with the very pretty girl donating next to me. it was then that i realized i felt old because i am 25 and not where i expected i would be at this age. 5 years ago i looked at 25 and thought by then i would have a nice house, a great job, a big dog, a beautiful wife with 2 or 3 years of marriage under us, maybe a little bambino on the way...

reality... i have a great job. a really great job.

and speaking of that great job... i got into a fight with a one armed man the other night. ok, so he wasn't exactly one armed. his left arm was in a cast. which had the dual difficultly of making him unable to handcuff, and giving him a weapon. this guy wouldn't stop either. at one point i was sitting on top of him and he was still going at it. we finally got some flex cuffs and were able to restrain him. but not until after we attempted to handcuff his good arm to his belt... which didn't work. actually, it gave him a second weapon because his belt broke. yeah. that left him with a club for one arm, and a metal cuff in the other. yeah.

but back to the original topic... i have a great job... but don't have the wife, house, dog or bambino on the way. (actually, could probably do without the latter for a little while longer now that i think about it). and really, not having all of that isn't that bad... its just that since i thought i would by now, not having them makes me feel old, or unaccomplished or something. i could also be feeling this way because my grandmother is dying and so death is on the brain... hm... well, let's not open that can o' worms.

i have started one good thing so far... been returning to church/mass. i mean, i sit by myself in the back. everyone kinda keeps there distance from me. not that i blame them really. i go to mass right before work so i am in uniform. i do get a kick out of telling people "peace be with you" with a gun on my hip! ha! actually, this one girl came up and introduced herself, stating that she had seen me there the past few sundays and wanted to make me feel welcome or something. thought it was nice. it does feel good to be back in church. something about it just feels right.

i suppose within all the chaos that can be life (and i rather enjoy a little chaos at times, makes you feel alive) it is good to have something that feels so right.

should i be surprised its God?

Valentine's Day

Valentine's day this year seems rather unsettling. Maybe depressing is the more apt description. Which is unusual because I normally love this holiday... or is it my birthday? Either way, both events seem to be rather disappointing and I would much prefer to push them away for a few more weeks, giving me time to adequately prepare for them.

On a much more different note... I have found that I greatly miss theological discussions. I found them quite stimulating to my emotionally, intellectual and spiritual beings. The majority of my conversations of late have been with crack addicts and really beautiful young ladies who all happen to also have boyfriends. Hmm... I need to get out more...

Well, anyway, for those few of you that will soon know (or care) that this site even exists now... enjoy... or whatever.